By Ryan Dailey
A preface before the review starts proper.A percentage of the horror nation,”horror snobs,” for lack of a better definition, are going to proverbially shit all over this film and the franchise in general, as they typically do with anything that does not star the DNC’s favorite mime, David Howard Thornton, or that is not Heredity. The V/H/S franchise should not be viewed as “elevated horror.” but rather as a call back to the time of E.C. Comics. Go into these films and most real life situations with an open mind and more enjoyment will come your way.
The first segment in the anthology, Coochie Coochie Coo, tells the tale of two friends, Kaliegh(Natalia Montgomery Fernendez) and Lacie(Samantha Cochran) as they perch on the cusp of adulthood, preparing to attend college and leave their childish ways behind them. Not before they partake in a final night of Halloween debauchery, that is. The duo break every Halloween rule of etiquette known to the human race, taking more than one piece of candy, stealing candy from little children and defiling lawn decorations. The fun and games end when they enter the last house of the night, as the girls find themselves trapped in an inescapable house with interior design done by the Blair Witch. As the friends are chased through the decrepit domicile, the origin of The Mommy is revealed through a very video game method of the girls finding old pictures and visual clues alluding to the history of the house and its “owner.”
Turns out that Mommy committed suicide while pregnant or possibly murdered, depending on viewer interpretation of the provided clues. The end result is that now The Mommy (Elena Musser) is now one of the best practical FX witch/monster to grace the screen. She is a six breasted monstrosity, carved from pure terror. The final shot of this thing surrounded by her deformed “children” will stick with the viewer long after the story ends.
The second short in the collection is Ut Supra Sic Infra, or, As Above, So Below. A young man, Enric (Teo Planell) and his girlfriend, Vicky (Maria Romanillios) take a group of friends to an old ritual room for some perceived harmless scares. Things go awry when Enrich finds the words, “Ut Supra Sic Infra” (as above, so below). Enric becomes possessed by a gravity manipulating entity with a hunger for human eyeballs. History repeats itself when authorities force Enrich, the only survivor of that night, to reenact the events of that night to help them piece together the puzzle.
This is the weakest link in the anthology, as it feels out of place amongst the other stories and feels like it should be a segment from a much longer tale as opposed to a stand alone tale.
Fun Size is next on the list, and it, much like the first tale, has one of the best villains in the film. The humanoid candy creature named “Fun Size,” would look great on a Hot Topic hoodie or as a Funko Pop. Much like other shorts in this collection, it features a group of friends in their early to mid 20’s, clad in costumes, running around and breaking the unwritten rules of the holiday, leading to their demise.
When Austin (Jake Ellsworth) helps himself to more than one piece of the strange candy found in an unassuming candy bowl, with a sign declaring “one piece per person,” the group finds themselves sucked into a hellish version of the backrooms meets Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory. This is the afore-mentioned Fun Size’s domain, where it turns disobedient trick or treaters into human candy. Writer/director Casper Kelley delivers two of the best kills seen in sometime, that being Austin being chopped into tiny pieces and his bits and pieces receiving a caramel filling and chocolate coating. The second murder sees Austin’s girlfriend, Haley (Jenna Hogan) turned into a walking, screaming bag of M&M’s.
Kid Print will spark core memories for those horror nation denizens that grew up trick or treating in the 1980’s, a time when there were kits parents could buy that would help authorities in case their children came up missing. Kid Print is a video service in which electronics store owner Tim (Stephen Gurewitz) provides in which parents have their children video taped in front of a backdrop that shows the child’s height as they describe what costume they will wear and verbally express the route they will use to trick or treat. This service provides comfort to parents letting their offspring go out by themselves while providing victims for employee Bruce (Carl Garrison).
The last segment, aside from the wrap-around portion, is titled, Home Haunt asks the question, “What if a neighborhood haunted house turned into a portal for the damned.”
Keith (Jeff Harms) channels the vibes of the 1990’s Halloween episodes of Roseanne and goes all out for the holiday, building an elaborate haunted house with the help of his son Zack (Noah Diamond).
Keith begs the much older Zack, who is growing weary of the Halloween tradition, to join him for one last run. The two find a record in a thrift store while shopping for props that claim the recording will bring Hell to Earth. Of course the record is purchased and played during the opening of that year’s haunted house, and, a la Evil Dead Rise, the shit hits the fan.
The paper mache and plastic monsters become real, making short work of the neighbors that dared to enter the attraction in the first place.
The wrap-around segment, Diet Phantasma, is definitely one of the sillier premises on the surface, but one can apply their own take on it. Taking it at face value, it is a story of scientists trapping souls in a can with terrible results. If you dig a bit deeper, Diet Phantasma is taking jabs at New Coke, human cruelty, capitalism and advertising.
In conclusion, the take on this entry in the franchise is the same as every review of the films that followed the first two entries. That is, until now.
V/H/S Halloween is solid spooky season viewing. When it wants to be scary, it is,when it wants to be campy, it is. This, like any other film, will give you what you bring into it. If the viewer comes in, nose in the air, trying to be the Gordon Ramsey of horror films, you will probably find it mundane. If the audience goes in, wanting to have fun and be scared, this film is a 3.5 out of 5.
V/H/S Halloween is currently streaming on Shudder/AMC+