Written by: Ryan Dailey
Fans of the short story, Children of the Corn tolerated the 40 year old original film of the same name, mostly for the camp factor. The modern day version lacks that much-needed campiness that made the original so memorable.
The plot is paper thin and the dialog is flat and boring, at best. The performances are forgettable and the cinematography is bland. The film takes way too long to establish easily foreseen plot points. Children of the Corn is a wholly forgettable experience to have.
Writer/director Kurt Wimmer (Ultraviolet, Total Recall 2012 and Point Break 2015) presents the story of poor farmers in Nebraska contemplating selling off their failing crops for a pay out. The children do not get a vote in the matter and the murder begins… half an hour or so later.
Malachi is replaced by Eden (Kate Moyer), a soulless little girl that leads her fellow children to kill in the name of He Who Walks. Moyer does turn in a passable performance, leading one to believe that the young actress could really carry a film if given decent material. The adults are not much better than the kids in terms of acting.
The film progresses at a snail’s pace, filled with tropes and moments that could have been so much more, but they were not. The remake commits a cardinal sin against its 1980’s counterpart as well. Actually, make that two. The short story and the original film knew that showing the monster would be detrimental to the world King was trying to build. Not only does Wimmer break this rule, but The One Who Walks is not even creative. Literally composed of corn stalks woven into the vague shape of a man, the “monster” is dull and cumbersome when it moves. It is truly a ballet of mediocrity.
Wimmer takes this slap in the face to horror fans one step further by creating He Who Walks with CGI. While CGI can be a great tool in a filmmaker’s arsenal, the CGI here is Langoliers level terrible.
Children of the Corn 2023 is a film that one might turn on for background noise or buy a copy to go in their King collection. Is this film the jumpstart that current horror in Hollywood needs? No. Does it contribute to the landfill of movies coming out of Hollyweird over the last five years or better? Most definitely it does.
Children of the Corn 2023 is available digitally and on physical media now.