Written by: Ryan Dailey
Christmas Bloody Christmas sets viewer expectations right from the start. The faux commercials that open this holiday cinematic experience could take the audience out of the movie, IF that movie was not about a homicidal robot Santa.
First, time to unwrap the socks and underwear that a distant aunt sends every year, also known as the cons of the film.
The first 35 to 40 minutes of the film are, for lack of a better word, awkward. The dialog is written as if some described the dialog written by early 1990’s Kevin Smith and Quentin Tarantino to the writer, who was under the influence of illicit drugs and set them in front of a word processor.
Tori (Riley Dandy) and Robbie (Sam Delich) deliver their lines well enough, even though some of Tori’s dialog is delivered as if Riley is channeling Juliette Lewis in Natural Born
Killers during that character’s more agitated moments for some reason. There is no excuse to deliver lines about how much A Christmas Story sucks like you are preaching the gospel in an evangelical church. That 40 minutes could have been better spent developing Robbie and Tori instead of trying to cram in as many pop culture/Christmas slams as time allows. Doing so would have made the events that befall the two more meaningful.
The kills are subpar and disappointing, given that the killer is a robotic Santa, hellbent on murder. The film takes an abrupt turn into the Oliver Stone, “Sex is violent” school of thought when a murder occurs in proximity to a character receiving cunnilingus. Typically, these are two tastes that taste great together, but in this instance, it feels forced, unnecessary and cumbersome.
The lump of coal in the proverbial stocking is that some viewers might be checking out their watches instead of checking out the screen.
Moving on to the good presents tucked away at the back of the tree, or the pros of Christmas Bloody Christmas.
Riley Dandy is very good as the tough as nails final girl. She is very Sarah Conner-esque in her on-screen transition from scared store clerk to robot-bashing savior. Sam Delich as Robbie seems one-dimensional at first, given the limited screen time and the dialog he is forced to act out, but if one studies his physical performance, Delich gives his character nuance. Jonah Ray is memorable in his role as Jay,almost mirroring a young Jason Mewes.
In true horror movie fashion, Tori finds herself in the local police station.There we are introduced to Sheriff Monroe (Jeff Daniel Phillips) and Officer Smith (Jeremy Gardner). These two actors have such great chemistry on screen and display such great acting chops that the audience finds themselves wishing they had their own movie.
Now to unwrap the best present hiding in the back of the proverbial tree, and that is the RoboSanta Plus himself, Abraham Benrubi. Benrubi nails the role of the holly jolly killing machine. Benrubi is able to go from a very traditional depiction of Saint Nick one minute to a red and white clad soulless killing machine seamlessly. Abraham Benrubi’s Santa deserves a place on the same mantle as Billy from Black Christmas and Larry Drake’s killer Santa from the premiere episode of Tales from the Crypt. Christmas Bloody Christmas will not be an instant holiday classic, but it does meet the criteria to become a cult classic.
2.5 out of 5
Christmas Bloody Christms is streaming on Shudder and other streaming services.